Wednesday, April 21, 1886

Narendra and M. & Narendra’s scepticism

M. AND NARENDRA were strolling in the garden of the house at Cossipore. Narendra was very much worried, because he had not yet been able to solve the financial difficulties of his family.

NARENDRA: “I don’t care for the job at the Vidyāsāgar School. I have been thinking of going to Gaya. I have been told that a Zamindār there needs the services of a manager for his estate. There is no such thing as God.”

M. (smiling): “You may say that now, but later on you will talk differently. Scepticism is a stage in the path of God-realization. One must pass through stages like this and go much farther; only thus can one realize God. That is what the Master says.”

NARENDRA: “Has anybody seen God as I see that tree?”

M: “Yes, our Master has seen God that way.”

NARENDRA: “It may be his hallucination.”

M: “Whatever a person experiences in a particular state is real for him in that state. Suppose you are dreaming that you have gone to a garden. As long as the dream lasts, the garden is real for you. But you think of it as unreal when your mind undergoes a change, as, for instance, when you awake. When your mind attains the state in which one sees God, you will know God to be real.”

NARENDRA: “I want truth. The other day I had a great argument with Sri Ramakrishna himself.”

M. (smiling): “What happened?”

NARENDRA: “He said to me, ‘Some people call me God.’ I replied, ‘Let a thousand people call you God, but I shall certainly not call you God as long as I do not know it to be true.’ He said, ‘Whatever many people say is indeed truth; that is dharma.’ Thereupon I replied, ‘Let others proclaim a thing as truth, but I shall certainly not listen to them unless I myself realize it as truth.’ “

M. (smiling): “Your attitude is like that of Western savants-Copernicus and Berkeley, for instance. The whole world said it was the sun that moved, but Copernicus did not listen. Everybody said the external world was real, but Berkeley paid no heed. Therefore Lewis says, ‘Why was Berkeley not a philosophical Copernicus?’ “

NARENDRA: “Can you give me a History of Philosophy?

M: “By whom? Lewis?”

NARENDRA: “No, Uberweg. I must read a German author.”

M: “You just said, ‘Has anybody seen God as I see that tree?’ Suppose God comes to you as a man and says, ‘I am God.’ Will you believe it then? You certainly remember the story of Lazarus. After his death, Lazarus said to Abraham, ‘Let me go back to the earth and tell my friends and relatives that hell and the after-life exist.’ Abraham replied: ‘Do you think they will believe you? They will say it is a charlatan who is telling them such things.’ The Master says that God cannot be known by reasoning. By faith alone one attains everything-knowledge and super-knowledge. By faith alone one sees God and becomes intimate with Him.”

It was about three o’clock in the afternoon. Sri Ramakrishna was in bed. Ramlal, who had come from Dakshineswar, was massaging his feet. Gopal of Sinthi and M. were in the room.

Sri Ramakrishna asked M. to shut the windows and massage his feet. At the Master’s request Purna had come to the Cossipore garden in a hired carriage. M. was to pay the carriage hire. Sri Ramakrishna made a sign to Gopal, asking whether he had obtained the money from M. Gopal answered in the affirmative.

Devotees about the Master

At nine o’clock in the evening Surendra, Ram, and the others were about to return to Calcutta. It was the sultry month of April and Sri Ramakrishna’s room became very hot during the day; so Surendra had brought some straw screens to keep the room cool.

SURENDRA: “Why, nobody has hung up these straw screens. Nobody here pays attention to anything.”

A DEVOTEE (smiling): “The devotees here are now in the state of Brahmajnana. They feel, ‘I am He.’ The world is unreal to them. When they come down to a lower plane and regard God as the Master and themselves as His servants, they will pay attention to the service of Sri Ramakrishna.” (All laugh.)

Thursday, April 22, 1886

In the evening Rākhāl , Śaśi, and M. were strolling in the garden at Cossipore. M: “The Master is like a child-beyond the three Gunās.”

ŚAŚI AND RĀKHĀL: “He himself has said that.”

RĀKHĀL: “He sits in a tower, as it were, from which he gets all information and sees everything; but others cannot go there and reach him.”

M: “He said, ‘In such a state of mind one sees God constantly.’ In him there is not the slightest trace of worldliness. His mind is like dry fuel, which catches fire quickly.”

ŚAŚI: “He described the different kinds of intelligence to Charu. The right intelligence is that through which one attains God; but the intelligence that enables one to become a deputy magistrate or a lawyer, or to acquire a house, is a mean intelligence. It is like thin and watery curd, which merely soaks flattened rice but does not add any flavour to it. It is not like thick, superior curd. But the intelligence through which one attains God is like thick curd.”

M: “Ah, what wonderful words!”

Bliss of Brahman and bliss of the world

ŚAŚI: “Kāli said to the Master: ‘What’s the good of having joy? The Bhils are joyous. Savages are always singing and dancing in a frenzy of delight.’ “

RĀKHĀL: “He [meaning the Master] replied to Kāli: ‘What do you mean? Can the Bliss of Brahman be the same as worldly pleasure? Ordinary men are satisfied with worldly pleasure. One cannot enjoy the Bliss of Brahman unless one completely rids oneself of attachment to worldly things. There is the joy of money and sense experience, and there is the Bliss of God-realization. Can the two ever be the same? The rishis enjoyed the Bliss of Brahman.’ “

Master on Buddha

M: “You see, Kāli nowadays meditates on Buddha; that is why he speaks of a state beyond Bliss.”

RĀKHĀL: “Yes, Kāli told the Master about Buddha. Sri Ramakrishna said to him: ‘Buddha is an Incarnation of God. How can you compare him to anybody else? As he is great, so too is his teaching great.’ Kāli said to him: ‘Everything, indeed, is the manifestation of God’s Power. Both worldly pleasure and the Bliss of God are the manifestation of that Power.’ “

M: “What did the Master say to that?”

RĀKHĀL: “He said: ‘How can that be? Is the power to beget a child the same as the power through which one realizes God?'”

Sri Ramakrishna was sitting in his room on the second floor. Narendra, Rākhāl , Śaśi, Surendra, M., Bhavanāth, and other devotees were present. Dr. Mahendra Sarkar and Dr. Rajendra Dutta were also there to examine him. His condition was growing worse.

On “woman and gold”

The house-rent was between sixty and sixty-five rupees. Surendra bore most of the expenses and had rented the house in his name. The other householder devotees contributed financial help according to their power. A cook and a maid had been engaged to look after the members of the house-hold.

MASTER (to Dr. Sarkar and the others): “The expenses are mounting.”

DR. SARKAR (pointing to the devotees): “But they are ready to bear them. They do not hesitate to spend money. (To Sri Ramakrishna) Now, you see, gold is necessary.”

MASTER (to Narendra): “Why don’t you answer?”

Narendra remained silent. Dr. Sarkar resumed the conversation.

DR. SARKAR: “Gold is necessary, and also woman.”

RAJENDRA: “Yes, his [meaning Sri Ramakrishna’s] wife has been cooking his meals.”

DR. SARKAR (to the Master): “Do you see?”

MASTER (smiling): “Yes-but very troublesome!”

DR. SARKAR: “If there were no troubles, then all would become paramahamsas.”

MASTER: “If a woman touches me I fall ill. That part of my body aches as if stung by a horned fish.”

DR. SARKAR: “I believe that. But how can you get along without woman?”

MASTER: “My hand gets all twisted up if I hold money in it; my breathing stops. But there is no harm in spending money to lead a spiritual life in the world-if one spends it, for instance, in the worship of God and the service of holy men and devotees.

“A man forgets God if he is entangled in the world of māyā through a woman. It is the Mother of the Universe who has assumed the form of māyā, the form of woman. One who knows this rightly does not feel like leading the life of māyā in the world. But he who truly realizes that all women are manifestations of the Divine Mother may lead a spiritual life in the world. Without realizing God one cannot truly know what a woman is.”

Sri Ramakrishna had, felt a slight improvement as a result of the homeopathic treatment.

RAJENDRA (to the Master): “After getting rid of this illness you must begin to practise medicine as a homeopath. Otherwise, what’s the use of this human life?” (All laugh.)

NARENDRA: “Nothing like leather!” (All laugh.)

A few minutes later the physicians took their leave. Sri Ramakrishna and M. were engaged in conversation. The Master was telling M. how he felt about woman.

MASTER (to M.): “They say I cannot get along without ‘woman and gold’. They don’t understand the state of my mind.

Sri Ramakrishna and woman

“If I touch a woman my hand becomes numb; it aches. If in a friendly spirit I approach a woman and begin to talk to her, I feel as if a barrier had been placed between us. It is impossible for me to cross that barrier.

“If a woman enters my room when I am alone, at once I become like a child and regard her as my mother.”

As M. listened to these words, he became speechless with wonder at Sri Ramakrishna’s exalted state of mind. Bhavanāth and Narendra were sitting at a distance, talking together.

Encouraging Bhavanāth

Bhavanāth had married and was trying to find a job; so he could not visit Sri Ramakrishna frequently at Cossipore. He had said to M.: “I understand that Vidyāsāgar wants to start a new school. I have to earn my livelihood. Will it be possible for me to secure a job in that school?” The Master was much worried about Bhavanāth’s being entangled in worldly life. Bhavanāth was twenty-three or twenty four years old.

MASTER (to Narendra): “Give him a lot of courage.”

Narendra and Bhavanāth smiled. Sri Ramakrishna said to Bhavanāth, by signs: “Be a great hero. Don’t forget yourself when you see her weeping behind her veil. Oh, women cry so mucheven when they blow their noses! (Narendra, Bhavanāth, and M. laugh.)

“Keep your mind firm on God. He who is a hero lives with a woman but does not indulge in physical pleasures. Talk to your wife only about God.”

A few minutes later Sri Ramakrishna said to Bhavanāth, by a sign, “Take your meal here today.”

BHAVANĀTH: “Yes, sir. I am quite all right. Don’t worry about me.”

Surendra came in and took a seat. The devotees offered garlands of flowers to the Master every evening. Sri Ramakrishna put these garlands around his neck. Surendra sat quietly in the room. Sri Ramakrishna was in a very happy mood and gave him two garlands. Surendra saluted the Master and put them around his neck.

All sat in silence and looked at Sri Ramakrishna. Surendra saluted the Master again and stood up. He was about to leave. He asked Bhavanāth to hang the straw screens over the windows.


Hirananda came in with two of his friends. He was a native of Sindh, about twenty-two hundred miles from Calcutta. After finishing his college education in Calcutta in 1883, he had returned to Sindh and taken charge of editing two papers, the Sindh Times and the Sindh Sudhar. While studying in Calcutta he had often visited Keshab Chandra Sen and

had come to know him intimately. He had met Sri Ramakrishna at the Kāli temple at Dakshineswar and had spent an occasional night there with the Master. Hearing of Sri Ramakrishna’s illness, he now came to Calcutta from Sindh to see him. The Master himself had been very eager to see Hirananda.

Sri Ramakrishna pointed to Hirananda and said to M., by signs: “A very fine boy. Do you know him?”

M: “Yes, sir.”

MASTER (to Hirananda and M.): “Please talk a little. I want to hear you both.”

When M. remained silent, Sri Ramakrishna asked him: “Is Narendra here? Call him.”

Narendra entered the room and sat near the Master.

MASTER (to Narendra and Hirananda): “I want to hear you two talk.”

Hirananda was silent a few moments and then after great hesitation began the conversation.

Narendra argues with Hirananda

HIRANANDA (to Narendra): “Why does a devotee of God suffer?” His words were sweet as nectar. Everyone in the room could feel that his heart was filled with love.

NARENDRA: “The plan of the universe is devilish. I could have created a better world.”

HIRANANDA: “Can one feel happiness without misery?”

NARENDRA: “I am not making a plan for a universe, but simply giving my opinion of the present plan.

“But all these problems are solved if we have faith only in one thing, and that is Pantheism. All doubts disappear if one believes that everything is God. God alone is responsible for all that happens.”

HIRANANDA: “Very easy to say that.”

Narendra sang Sankara’s Six Stanzas on Nirvāna:

Om I am neither mind, intelligence, ego, nor chitta, Neither ears nor tongue nor the senses of smell and sight;

Nor am I ether, earth, fire, water, or air:

I am Pure Knowledge and Bliss: I am Śiva! I am Śiva!

I am neither the Prāna nor the five vital breaths, Neither the seven elements of the body nor its five sheaths,

Nor hands nor feet nor tongue, nor the organs of sex and voiding:

I am Pure Knowledge and Bliss: I am Śiva! I am Śiva!

Neither loathing nor liking have I, neither greed nor delusion;

No sense have I of ego or pride, neither dharma nor moksha;

Neither desire of the mind nor object for its desiring: I am Pure Knowledge and Bliss: I am Śiva! I am Śiva!

Neither right nor wrongdoing am I, neither pleasure nor pain,

Nor the mantra, the sacred place, the Vedas, the sacrifice;

Neither the act of eating, the eater, nor the food:

I am Pure Knowledge and Bliss: I am Śiva! I am Śiva!

Death or fear I have none, nor any distinction of caste;

Neither father nor mother nor even a birth have I;

Neither friend nor comrade, neither disciple nor guru:

I am Pure Knowledge and Bliss: I am Śiva! I am Śiva!

I have no form or fancy; the All-pervading am I; Everywhere I exist, yet I am beyond the senses; Neither salvation am I, nor anything that may be known:

I am Pure Knowledge and Bliss: I am Śiva! I am Śiva!


SRI RAMAKRISHNA (to Hirananda, by a sign): “Give him an answer.”

HIRANANDA: “It is all the same, whether you look at a room from a corner or look at it from the middle. It is the same God-Consciousness that one feels, whether one says, ‘O God, I am Thy servant’, or, ‘I am He.’ One may enter a room by several doors.”

Narendra’s spirit of renunciation

All sat in silence. Hirananda said to Narendra, “Please sing some more.”

Narendra sang the Five Stanzas on the Kaupina:

“Contemplating day and night the Absolute

Roaming ever in the grove of Vedānta,

Ever pleased with his beggar’s morsel,

Ever walking with heart free from sorrow,

Blest indeed is the wearer of the loin-cloth.

Sitting at the foot of a tree for shelter,

Using the palms of his hands for eating,

Wrapped in a garment fine or ugly,

Blest indeed is the wearer of the loin-cloth.

Satisfied fully by the Bliss within him,

Curbing wholly the cravings of his senses,

Contemplating day and night the Absolute Brahman,

Blest indeed is the wearer of the loin-cloth.

When Sri Ramakrishna heard the line,

Brahman”, he said in a very low voice, “Ah!” Then, by a sign, he said to the devotees, “This is the characteristic of the yogi.”

Narendra finished the hymn:

Witnessing the changes of mind and body,

Naught but the self within him beholding,

Thinking not of outer, of inner, or of middle,

Blest indeed is the wearer of the loin-cloth.

Chanting “Brahman”, the Word of redemption,

Meditating only on “I am Brahman”,

Living on alms and wandering freely,

Blest indeed is the wearer of the loin-cloth.

Again Narendra sang:

Meditate on Him, the Perfect, the Embodiment of Bliss; Meditate on Him, the Formless, the Root of the Universe,

The Hearer behind the ear, the Thinker behind the mind,

The Speaker behind the tongue, Himself beyond all words:

He is the Life of life, the Ultimate, the Adorable!

MASTER (to Narendra): “And that one ‘All that exists art Thou.’

Narendra sang:

I have joined my heart to Thee: all that exists art Thou; Thee only have I found, for Thou art, all that exists.

O Lord, Beloved of my heart! Thou art the Home of all; Where indeed is the heart in which Thou dost not dwell? Thou hast entered every heart: all that exists art Thou.

Whether sage or fool, whether Hindu or Mussulman, Thou makest them as Thou wilt: all that exists art Thou. Thy presence is everywhere, whether in heaven or in Kaaba;

Before Thee all must bow, for Thou art all that exists. From earth below to the highest heaven, from heaven to deepest earth,

I see Thee wherever I look: all that exists art Thou. Pondering, I have understood; I have seen it beyond a doubt;

I find not a single thing that may be compared to Thee. To Jafar it has been revealed that Thou art all that exists.

As the Master listened, to the line, “Thou hast entered every heart”, he said by a sign: “God dwells in everybody’s heart. He is the Inner Guide.”

As Narendra sang the line, “I see Thee wherever I look: all that exists art

Thou”, Hirananda said to him: “Yes, ‘All that exists art Thou.’ Now you say: ‘Thou! Thou! Not I, but Thou!'”

NARENDRA: Give me a one and I’ll give you a million. Thou art I; I am Thou. Nothing exists but I “

Narendra recited a few verses from the Ashtāvakra Samhitā. The room again became silent.

MASTER (to Hirananda, pointing to Narendra): “He seems to be walking with an unsheathed sword in his hand. (To M., pointing to Hirananda) How quiet! Like a cobra, quiet before the charmer, with its hood spread.”

Sri Ramakrishna fell into an inward mood. Hirananda and M. were seated near him. There was complete silence in the room. The Master’s body was being racked with indescribable pain. The devotees could not bear the sight of this illness; but somehow the Master made them forget his suffering. He sat there, his face beaming as if there were no trace of illness in his throat. The devotees had placed flowers and garlands before him as their loving offerings. He picked up a flower and touched with it first his head, then his throat, heart, and navel. To the devotees he seemed a child playing with flowers.

Sri Ramakrishna used to tell the devotees that his divine visions and moods were accompanied by the rising of a spiritual current inside his body.

Now he talked to M.

MASTER: “I don’t remember when the current went up. Now I am in the mood of a child. That is why I am playing with the flowers this way.

Master’s exalted vision

Do you know what I see now? I see my body as a frame made of bamboo strips and covered with a cloth. The frame moves. And it moves because someone dwells inside it.

“Again, I see the body to be like a pumpkin with the seeds scooped out. Inside this body there is no trace of passion or worldly attachment. It is all very clean inside, and- “

It became very painful for Sri Ramakrishna to talk further. He felt very weak. M. quickly guessed what the Master wanted to tell the devotees, and said, “And you are seeing God inside yourself.”

MASTER: “Both inside and outside. The Indivisible Satchidananda-I see It both inside and outside. It has merely assumed this sheath [meaning his body] for a support and exists both inside and outside. I clearly perceive this.”

M. and Hirananda listened intently to these words about his exalted state of God-Consciousness. A few moments later Sri Ramakrishna looked at them and resumed the conversation.

MASTER: “You all seem to me to be my kinsmen. I do not look on any of you as a stranger.

“I see you all as so many sheaths, and the heads are moving.

“I notice that when my mind is united with God the suffering of the body is left aside.

“No I perceive only this: the Indivisible Satchidananda is covered with skin, and this sore in the throat is on one side of it.”

The Master again fell silent. A few minutes later he said: “The attributes of matter are superimposed on Spirit, and the attributes of Spirit are superimposed on matter. Therefore when the body is ill a man says, ‘I am ill.’ “

Hirananda wanted to understand what the Master had just said; so M. told him, “Then hot water scalds the hand, people say that the water scalds; but the truth is that it is the heat that scalds.”

Master and Hirananda

HIRANANDA (to the Master): “Please tell us why a devotee of God suffers.”

MASTER: “It is the body that suffers.”

Sri Ramakrishna seemed about to say something more. Hirananda and M. eagerly awaited his words.

Sri Ramakrishna said, “Do you understand?”

M. said to Hirananda, in a whisper: “The body suffers for the purpose of teaching men. His life is like a book of reference. In spite of so much physical suffering, his mind is one hundred percent united with God.”

HIRANANDA: “Yes, it is like Christ’s crucifixion. But still the mystery remains-why should he, of all people, suffer like this?”

M: “The Master says it is the will of the Divine Mother. This is how She is sporting through his body.”

The two devotees were talking in whispers. Sri Ramakrishna asked Hirananda, by a sign, what

M. was talking about. Since Hirananda could not understand the sign, Sri Ramakrishna repeated it.

HIRANANDA: “He says that your illness is for the teaching of men.”

MASTER: “But that’s only his guess.

(To M. and Hirananda) “My mood is changing. I think that I should not say to everyone, ‘May your spiritual consciousness be awakened.’ People are so sinful in the Kaliyuga; if I awaken their spiritual consciousness I shall have to accept the burden of their sins.”

M. (to Hirananda): “He will not awaken people’s spiritual consciousness except at the right time. When a person is ready, he will awaken his spiritual consciousness.”

Friday, April 23, 1886

It was Good Friday. Hirananda had taken his midday meal at the Cossipore garden house. About one o’clock in the afternoon he was stroking Sri Ramakrishna’s feet. M. sat near by. Lātu and one or two other devotees were going in and out of the room. It was the Master’s earnest desire that Hirananda should stay for some time at the Cossipore garden house.

While massaging the Master’s feet, Hirananda conversed with him. He spoke in a very sweet voice, as if trying to console a child.

HIRANANDA: “Why should you worry so much? You can enjoy peace of mind if you have faith in the physician. You are a child.”

MASTER (to M.): “How can I have faith in the doctor? Dr. Sarkar said that I would not recover.”

HIRANANDA: “But why should you worry so much about that? What is to happen must happen.”

M. (to Hirananda, aside): “He is not worrying about himself. The preservation of his body is for the welfare of the devotees.”

It was a sultry day and the room became very hot at noontime. The straw screens had been hung over the windows. Hirananda adjusted them. The Master looked at him.

MASTER (to Hirananda): “Please don’t forget to send the pajamas.”

Hirananda had told Sri Ramakrishna that he would feel more comfortable if he wore the pajamas used in Sindh. Sri Ramakrishna was reminding him of them.

Hirananda had not eaten well. The rice had not been well cooked. The Master felt very sorry about it and asked him again and again whether he would have some refreshments. On account of his illness he could hardly talk; but still he repeated the question. He said to Lātu, “Did you too eat that rice?’

Sri Ramakrishna could hardly keep the cloth on his body. He was almost always naked, like a child. Hirananda had brought with him one or two of his Brahmo friends. Therefore every now and then the Master pulled the cloth to his waist.

MASTER (to Hirananda): “Will you take me for an uncivilized person if I don’t cover my body with my cloth?”

HIRANANDA: “What difference does that make with you? You are but a child.”

MASTER (pointing to a Brahmo devotee): “But he feels that way”

Hirananda was about to take his leave. In a very few days he was going to start for Sindh.

MASTER (to Hirananda): “Suppose you don’t go to Sindh.”

HIRANANDA (smiling): “But there is nobody there to do my work. I have my duties.”

MASTER: “How much do you earn?”

HIRANANDA (smiling): “My work doesn’t bring me a large salary.”

MASTER: “Still, how much?”

Hirananda laughed.

MASTER: “Why don’t you live here?”

Hirananda did not reply.

MASTER: “Suppose you give up the job.”

Hirananda said nothing. He was ready to take his leave.

MASTER: “When will you see me again?”

HlRANANDA: “I shall leave for Sindh on Monday, the day after tomorrow I shall see you that morning.”

Hirananda left.

M. was seated by the Master’s side.

MASTER (to M.): “He is a fine young man, isn’t he?”

M: “Yes, sir. He has a very sweet nature.”

MASTER: “He said that Sindh is twenty-two hundred miles from Calcutta; and he has come all that way to see me.”

M: “True, Sir. That would be impossible without real love.”

MASTER: “He wants very much to take me to Sindh.”

M: “The journey is very painful. It takes four or five days by train.”

MASTER: “He has three university degrees.”

M: “Yes, sir.”

Sri Ramakrishna was tired. He wanted to take a little rest. He asked M. to open the shutters of the windows and spread the straw mat over his bed. M. was fanning him. Sri Ramakrishna became drowsy.

After a short nap Sri Ramakrishna said to M., “Did I sleep?”

M: “A little.”

Narendra, Sarat, and M. were talking downstairs.

NARENDRA: “How amazing it is! One learns hardly anything though one reads books for many years. How can a man realize God by practising sādhanā for two or three days? Is

it so easy to realize God? (To Sarat) You have obtained peace. M., too, has obtained it. But I have no peace.”

It was afternoon. Many devotees were sitting in the Master’s room. Narendra, Sarat, Śaśi, Lātu, Nityagopal, Girish, Ram, M., and Suresh were present.

Kedār came in. This was his first visit to the Master for some time. While staying in Dāccā, in connection with his official duties, he had heard of Sri Ramakrishna’s illness. On entering Sri Ramakrishna’s room he took the dust of the Master’s feet on his head and then joyously gave it to the others. The devotees accepted it with bowed heads. As he offered it to Sarat, the latter himself took the dust of Sri Ramakrishna’s feet. M. smiled. The Master also smiled, looking at M. The devotees sat without uttering a word. Sri Ramakrishna seemed about to go into an ecstatic mood. Now and then he breathed heavily as if trying to suppress his emotion. He said to Kedār, by a sign, “Argue with Girish.”

Girish said to Kedār: “Sir, I beg your pardon. At first I did not know who you were. That is why I argued with you. But now it is quite different.”

Sri Ramakrishna smiled.

The Master drew Kedār’s attention to Narendra and said: “He has renounced everything. (To the devotees) Kedār once said to Narendra, ‘You may reason and argue now, but in the end you will roll on the ground, chanting Hari’s name.’ (To Narendra) Take the dust of Kedār’s feet.”

KEDĀR (to Narendra): “Take the dust of his [meaning the Master’s] feet. That will do.”

Surendra was seated behind the other devotees. The Master looked at him with a smile and said to Kedār, “Ah, how sweet his nature is!” Kedār understood the Master’s hint and went toward Surendra.

Surendra was very sensitive. Some of the devotees had been collecting funds from the householder devotees to meet the expenses of the Cossipore garden house. Surendra felt piqued at this. He was bearing most of the expenses himself.

SURENDRA (to Kedār): “How can I sit near all these holy people? A few days ago some of them [referring to Narendra] put on the ochre robe of the sannyāsi and went on a pilgrimage to Buddha-Gaya. They wanted to see bigger sādhus there.”

Sri Ramakrishna was trying to console Surendra. He said: “You are right. They are mere children. They don’t know what is good.”

SURENDRA (to Kedār): “Doesn’t our gurudeva know our inner feeling? He does not care for money. It is our inner attitude that pleases him.”

Sri Ramakrishna with a nod of his head approved Surendra’s words.

The devotees had brought various food offerings for the Master and placed them in front of him. Sri Ramakrishna put a grain on his tongue and gave the plate to Surendra. He

asked Surendra to distribute the Prasad to the devotees. Surendra went downstairs with the offerings.

MASTER (to Kedār): “You had better go downstairs and explain it all to Surendra. See that they don’t get into any hot arguments.”

M. was fanning Sri Ramakrishna. The Master said to him, “Won’t you eat anything?” He sent M. downstairs.

Girish and M.

It was about dusk. Girish and M. were strolling near the small reservoir in the garden. ‘

GIRISH: “I understand that you are writing something about the Master. Is it true?”

M: “Who told you that?”

GIRISH: “I have heard about it. Will you give it to me?”

M: “No, I won’t part with it unless I feel it is right to do so. I am writing it for myself, not for others.”

GIRISH: “What do you mean?”

M: “You may get it when I die.”

It was evening. A lamp was lighted in the Master’s room. Amrita Basu, a Brahmo devotee, came in. Sri Ramakrishna had expressed his eagerness to see him. M. and a few other devotees were there. A garland of jasmine lay in front of the Master on a plantain-leaf. There was perfect silence in the room. A great yogi seemed to be silently communing with God. Every now and then the Master lifted the garland a little, as if he wanted to put it around his neck.

AMRITA (tenderly): “Shall I put it around your neck?”

Sri Ramakrishna accepted the garland. He had a long conversation with Amrita. When the latter was about to take his leave, the Master said, “Come again.”

AMRITA: “Yes, sir. I like to come very much. But I live at a great distance; so I cannot always come.”

MASTER: “Do come, and take the carriage hire from here.”

The devotees were amazed at the Master’s tender love for Amrita.

Master’s kindness to M. and his wife

The next day M. came to the garden house accompanied by his wife and a son. The boy was seven years old. It was at the Master’s request that he brought his wife, who was almost mad with grief owing to the death of one of her sons.

That day the Master several times allowed M.’s wife the privilege of waiting on him. Her welfare seemed to occupy his attention a great deal. In the evening the Holy Mother came to the Master’s room to feed him. M.’s wife accompanied her with a lamp. The Master tenderly asked her many questions about her household. He requested her to come again to the garden house and spend a few days with the Holy Mother, not forgetting to ask her to bring her baby daughter. When the Master had finished his meal M.’s wife removed the plates. He chatted with her a few minutes.

About nine o’clock in the evening Sri Ramakrishna was seated in his room with the devotees. He had a garland of flowers around his neck. He told M. that he had requested his wife to spend a few days at the garden house with the Holy Mother. His kindness touched M.’s heart.

M. was fanning him. The Master took the garland from his neck and said something to himself. Then in a very benign mood he gave the garland to M.