Friday, April 9, 1886

IT WAS FIVE ’CLOCK in the afternoon. Narendra, Kāli, Niranjan, and M. were talking downstairs in the Cossipore garden house.

NIRANJAN (to M.): “Is it true that Vidyāsāgar is going to open a new school? Why don’t you try to secure employment there for Naren?”

NARENDRA: “I have had enough of service under Vidyāsāgar.”

Narendra’s visit to Bodh-Gaya

Narendra had just returned from a visit to Bodh-Gaya, where he had gone with Kāli and Tārak. In that sacred place he had been absorbed in deep meditation before the image of Buddha. He had paid his respects to the Bodhi-tree, which is an offshoot of the original tree under which Buddha attained Nirvāna.

Kāli said, “One day at Gaya, at Mesh Babu’s house, Narendra sang many classical songs to the accompaniment of the Mridanga.”

Sri Ramakrishna sat on his bed in the big hall upstairs. It was evening. M. was alone in the room, fanning the Master. Lātu came in a little later.

MASTER (to M.): “Please bring a chaddar for me and a pair of slippers.

M: “Yes, sir.”

MASTER (to Lātu): “The chaddar will cost ten ānnās, and then the slippers. What will be the total cost?”

LĀTU: “One rupee and ten ānnās.”

Sri Ramakrishna asked M., by a sign, to note the price.

Narendra entered the room and took a seat. Śaśi, Rākhāl, and one or two other devotees came in. The Master asked Narendra to stroke his feet. He also asked him whether he had taken his meal.

MASTER (smiling, to M.): “He went there [referring to Bodh-Gaya].”

Buddha’s doctrines

M. (to Narendra): “What are the doctrines of Buddha?”

NARENDRA: “He could not express in words what he had realized by his tapasya. So people say he was an atheist.”

MASTER (by signs): “Why atheist? He was not an atheist. He simply could not express his inner experiences in words.

The meaning of Buddha

Do you know what ‘Buddha’ means? It is to become one with Bodha, Pure Intelligence, by meditating on That which is of the nature of Pure Intelligence; it is to become Pure Intelligence Itself.”

NARENDRA: “Yes, sir. There are three classes of Buddhās: Buddha, Arhat, and Bodhisattva.”

MASTER: “This too is a sport of God Himself, a new lila of God.

“Why should Buddha be called an atheist? When one realizes Svarupa, the true nature of one’s Self, one attains a state that is something between Asti, is, and Nāsti, is not.”

NARENDRA (to M:): “It is a state in which contradictions meet. A combination of hydrogen and oxygen produces cool water; and the same hydrogen and oxygen are used in the oxyhydrogen blowpipe.

“In that state both activity and non-activity are possible; that is to say, one then performs unselfish action.

“Worldly people, who are engrossed in sense-objects, say that everything existsAsti. But the Mayavadis, the illusionists, say that nothing exists Nāsti. The experience of a Buddha is beyond both ‘existence’ and ‘non-existence’. “

MASTER: “This ‘existence’ and ‘non-existence’ are attributes of Prakriti. The Reality is beyond both.”

The devotees remained silent a few moments.

MASTER (to Narendra): “What did Buddha preach?”

NARENDRA: “He did not discuss the existence or non-existence of God. But he showed compassion for others all his life.

“A hawk pounced upon a bird and was about to devour it. In order to save the bird, Buddha gave the hawk his own flesh.”

Narendra’s enthusiasm about Buddha

Sri Ramakrishna remained silent. Narendra became more and more enthusiastic about Buddha.

NARENDA: “How great his renunciation was! Born a prince, he renounced everything! If a man has nothing, no wealth at all, what does his renunciation amount to? After attaining Buddhahood and experiencing Nirvāna, Buddha once visited his home and exhorted his wife, his son, and many others of the royal household to embrace the life of renunciation. How intense his renunciation was! But look at Vyāsa’s conduct! He forbade his son Sukadeva to give up the world, saying, ‘My son, practise religion as a householder.’ “

Sri Ramakrishna was silent. As yet he had not uttered a word.

NARENDRA: “Buddha did not care for Śakti or any such thing. He sought only Nirvāna. Ah, how intense his dispassion was! When he sat down under the Bodhi-tree to meditate, he took this vow: ‘Let my body wither away here if I do not attain Nirvāna.’ Such a firm resolve!

“This body, indeed, is the great enemy. Can anything be achieved without chastising it?”

ŚAŚI: “But it is you who say that one develops sattva by eating meat. You insist that one should eat meat.”

NARENDRA: “I eat meat, no doubt, but I can also live on rice, mere rice, even without salt.”

After a few minutes Sri Ramakrishna broke his silence. He asked Narendra, by sign, whether he had seen a tuft of hair on Buddha’s head.

NARENDRA: “No, sir. He seems to have a sort of crown; his head seems to be covered by strings of rudraksha beads placed on top of one another.”

MASTER: “And his eyes?”

NARENDRA: “They show that he is in samādhi.”

Master about himself

Sri Ramakrishna again became silent. Narendra and the other devotees looked at him intently. Suddenly a smile lighted his face and he began to talk with Narendra. M. was fanning him.

MASTER (to Narendra): “Well, here you find everything-even ordinary red lentils and tamarind. Isn’t that so?”

NARENDRA: “After experiencing all those states, you are now dwelling on a lower plane.”

M. (to himself): “Yes, after realizing all those ideals, he is now living as a bhakta, a devotee of God.”

MASTER: “Someone seems to be holding me to a lower plane.”

Master’s vision of God

Saying this, Sri Ramakrishna took the fan from M.’s hand and said: “As I see this fan, directly before me, in exactly the same manner have I seen God. And I have seen- ” With these words he placed his hand on his heart and asked Narendra, by a sign, “Can you tell me what I said?”

NARENDRA: “I have understood.”

MASTER: “Tell me.”

NARENDRA: “I didn’t hear you well”

Sri Ramakrishna said again, by a sign, “I have seen that He and the one who dwells in my heart are one and the same Person.”

NARENDRA: “Yes, yes! Soham-I am He.”

MASTER: “But only a line divides the two-that I may enjoy divine bliss.”

NARENDRA (to M.): “Great souls, even after their own liberation, retain the ego and experience the pleasure and pain of the body that they may help others to attain liberation.

“It is like coolie work. We perform coolie work under compulsion, but great souls do so of their own sweet pleasure.”

Again all fell into silence. After a time Sri Ramakrishna resumed the conversation.

MASTER (to Narendra and the others): “The roof is clearly visible; but it is extremely hard to reach it.”

NARENDRA: “Yes, sir.”

MASTER: “But if someone who has already reached it drops down a rope, he can pull another person up.

Different kinds of samādhi

“Once a sādhu from Hrishikesh came to Dakshineswar. He said to me: ‘How amazing! I find five kinds of samādhi manifested in you.’

“Just as a monkey climbs a tree, jumping from one branch to another, so also does the Mahāvāyu, the Great Energy, rise in the body, jumping from one centre to another, and one goes into samādhi. One feels the rising of the Great Energy, as though it were the movement of a monkey.

“Just as a fish darts about in the water and roams in great happiness, so also does the Mahāvāyu move upward in the body, and one goes into samādhi. One feels the rising of the Great Energy, as though it were the movement of a fish.

“Like a bird hopping from one branch to another, the Mahāvāyu goes up in the tree of the body, now to this branch and now to that. One feels the rising of the Great Energy, as though it were the movement of a bird.

“Like the slow creeping of an ant, the Mahāvāyu rises from centre to centre. When it reaches the Sahasrara one goes into samādhi. One feels the rising of the Great Energy, as though it were the movement of an ant.

“Like the wriggling of a snake, the Mahāvāyu rises in a zigzag way along the spinal column till it reaches the Sahasrara, and one goes into samādhi. One feels. the rising of the Great Energy, as though it were the movement of a snake.”

RĀKHĀL (to the other devotees): “Let us stop here. He has already talked a great deal. It will aggravate his illness.”

Monday, April 12, 1886

About five o’clock in the afternoon Sri Ramakrishna was sitting on the bed in his room in the Cossipore garden house. Śaśi and M. were with him. He asked M., by a sign, to fan him. There was a fair in the neighbourhood in celebration of the last day of the Bengali year. A devotee, whom Sri Ramakrishna had sent to the fair to buy a few articles, returned. “What have you bought?” the Master asked him.

DEVOTEE: “Candy for five pice, a spoon for two pice, and a vegetable-knife for two pice.”

MASTER: “What about the penknife?”

DEVOTEE: “I couldn’t get one for two pice.”

MASTER (eagerly): “Go quickly and get one!”

M. was pacing the garden. Narendra and Tārak returned from Calcutta. They had visited

Girish Ghosh’s house and other places.

TĀRAK: “We have eaten a great deal of meat and other heavy stuff today.”

NARENDRA: “Yes, our minds have come down a great deal. Let us practise tapasya. (To M.) What slavery to body and mind! We are just like coolies-as if this body and mind were not ours but belonged to someone else.”

In the evening lamps were lighted in the house. Sri Ramakrishna sat on his bed, facing the north. He was absorbed in contemplation of the Mother of the Universe. A few minutes later Fakir, who belonged to the priestly family of Balarām, recited the Hymn of

Forgiveness addressed to the Divine Mother. Śaśi, M., and two or three other devotees were in the room. After the recital Sri Ramakrishna, with folded hands, very respectfully bowed to the Deity.

M. was fanning Sri Ramakrishna. The Master said to him by signs, “Get a stone cup for me that will hold a quarter of a seer of milk-white stone.” He drew the shape of the cup with his finger.

M: “Yes, sir.”

MASTER: “When eating from other cups I get the smell of fish.”

Tuesday, April 13, 1886

It was about eight o’clock in the morning. M. had spent the night at the garden house.

After taking his bath in the Ganges he prostrated himself before Sri Ramakrishna. Ram had just come. He saluted the Master and took a seat. He had brought a garland of flowers, which he offered to the Master. Most of the devotees were downstairs; only one or two were in the Master’s room.

Sri Ramakrishna was talking to Ram.

MASTER: “How do you find me?”

RAM: “In you one finds everything. “Presently there will be a discussion about your illness.”

The Master smiled and asked Ram by a sign, “Will there really be a discussion about my illness?”

Sri Ramakrishna’s slippers were not comfortable. Dr. Rajendra Dutta intended to buy a new pair and had asked for the measurement of his feet. The measurement was taken.

“Sri Ramakrishna asked M., by a sign, about the stone cup. M. at once stood up. He wanted to go to Calcutta for the cup.

MASTER: “Don’t bother about it now.”

M: “Sir, these devotees are going to Calcutta. I will go with them.”

M. bought the cup in Calcutta and returned to Cossipore at noon. He saluted the Master and placed the cup near him. Sri Ramakrishna took the cup in his hand and looked at it. Dr. Rajendra Dutta, Dr. Sreenāth, Rākhāl, Haldār, and several others came in. Rākhāl, Śaśi, and the younger Naren were in the room. The physicians heard the report of the Master’s illness. Dr. Sreenath had a copy of the Gitā in his hand.

DR. SREENATH (to his friends): “Everything is under the control of Prakriti. Nobody can escape the fruit of past action. This is called Prārabdha.”

Power of God’s name

MASTER: “Why, if one chants the name of God, meditates on Him, and takes refuge in Him-“

DR. SREENATH: “But, sir, how can one escape Prārabdha, the effect of action performed in previous births?”

MASTER: “No doubt a man experiences a little of the effect; but much of it is cancelled by the power of God’s name. A man was born blind of an eye. This was his punishment for a certain misdeed he had committed in his past birth, and the punishment was to remain with him for six more births. Be, however, took a bath in the Ganges, which gives one liberation. This meritorious action could not cure his blindness, but it saved him from his future births.”

DR. SREENATH: “But, sir, the scriptures say that nobody can escape the fruit of karma.”

Dr. Sreenāth was ready to argue with the Master.

MASTER (to M.): “Why don’t you tell him that there is a great difference between the Isvarakoti and an ordinary man? An Isvarakoti cannot commit sin. Why don’t you tell him that?”

M. remained silent and then said to Rākhāl, “You tell him.”

After a few minutes the physicians left the room. Sri Ramakrishna was talking to Rākhāl Haldar.

HALDAR: “Dr. Sreenath studies Vedānta. He is a student of the Yoga-vasishtha.”

MASTER: “A householder should not hold the view that everything is illusory, like a dream.”

Referring to a man named Kalidas, a devotee said, “He too discusses Vedānta, but he has lost all his money in lawsuits.”

MASTER (smiling): “Yes, one proclaims everything to be māyā, and still one goes to court! (To Rākhāl ) Mukherji of Janai, too, talked big. But at last he came to his senses. If I were well I should have talked a little more with Dr. Sreenath. Can one obtain jnāna just by talking about it?”

HALDAR: “You are right, sir. I have seen enough of jnāna. Now all I need in order to live in the world is a little bhakti. The other day I came to you with a problem on my mind, and you solved it.”

MASTER (eagerly): “What was it?”

HALDAR: “Sir, when that boy (pointing to the younger Naren) came in, you said he had controlled his passions.”

MASTER: “Yes, it is true. He is totally unaffected by worldliness. He says he doesn’t know what lust is. (To M.) Just feel my body. All the hair is standing on end.”

The Master’s hair actually stood on end at the thought of a pure mind totally devoid of lust. He always said that God manifests Himself where there is no lust.

Rākhāl Haldar took his leave.

Sri Ramakrishna was seated with the devotees. A crazy woman had been troubling everybody in order to see the Master. She had assumed toward him the attitude of a lover and often ran into the garden house and burst into the Master’s room. She had even been beaten by the devotees; but that did not stop her.

ŚAŚI: “If she comes again I shall shove her out of the place!”

MASTER (tenderly): “No, no! Let her come and go away.”

RĀKHĀL : “At the beginning I too used to feel jealous of others when they visited the Master. But he graciously revealed to me that my guru is also the Guru of the Universe. Has he taken this birth only for a few of us?”

ŚAŚI: “I don’t mean that. But why should she trouble him when he is ill? And she is such a nuisance!”

RĀKHĀL : “We all give him trouble. Did we all come to him after attaining perfection? Haven’t we caused him suffering? How Narendra and some of the others behaved in the beginning! How they argued with him!”

ŚAŚI: “Whatever Narendra expressed in words he carried out in his actions.”

RĀKHĀL: “How rude Dr. Sarkar has been to him! No one is guiltless, if it comes to that.”

MASTER (to Rākhāl, tenderly): “Will you eat something?”

RĀKHĀL: “Not now. Later on.”

Sri Ramakrishna asked M., by a sign, whether he was going to have his meal there.

RĀKHĀL (to M.): “Please take your meal here. He is asking you to.”

Sri Ramakrishna was seated completely naked. He looked like a five-year-old boy. Just then the crazy woman climbed the stairs and stood near the door.

M. (in a low voice, to Śaśi): “Ask her to salute him and go away. Don’t make any fuss.” Śaśi took her downstairs.

It was the first day of the Bengali year. Many woman devotees arrived. They saluted Sri Ramakrishna and the Holy Mother. Among them were the wives of Balarām and Manomohan, and the brahmani of Baghbazar. Several of them had brought their children along.

Some of the women offered flowers at the Master’s feet. Two young girls, nine or ten years of age, sang a few songs.

First they sang:

We moan for rest, alas! but rest can never find; We know not whence we come, nor where we float away.

Time and again we tread this round of smiles and tears; In vain we pine to know whither our pathway leads, And why we play this empty play. . . .


There comes Radha, and there see your Krishna,

With arching eyes and the flute at His lips.. . .

And finally:

O tongue, always repeat the name of Mother Durga! Who but your Mother Durga will save you in distress? .

. .

Sri Ramakrishna said by a sign: “That’s good! They are singing of the Divine Mother.” The Brahmani of Baghbazar had the nature of a child. Sri Ramakrishna told Rākhāl , by a sign, to ask her to sing. The devotees smiled as the brahmani sang:

O Hari, I shall sport with You today;

For I have found You alone in the Nidhu wood. . .

The woman devotees went downstairs.

It was afternoon. M. and a few other devotees were seated near the Master. Narendra came in. He looked, as the Master used to say, like an unsheathed sword.

Narendra sat down near the Master and within his hearing expressed his utter annoyance with women. He told the devotees what an obstacle women were in the path of God-realization.

Sri Ramakrishna made no response. He listened to Narendra.

Narendra said again: “I want peace. I do not care even for God.”

Sri Ramakrishna looked at him intently without uttering a word. Now and then Narendra chanted, “Brahman is Truth, Knowledge, the Infinite.”

It was eight o’clock in the evening. Sri Ramakrishna sat on his bed. A few devotees sat on the floor in front of him. Surendra arrived from his office. He carried in his hands four oranges and two garlands of flowers. Now he looked at the Master and now at the devotees. He unburdened his heart to Sri Ramakrishna.

Surendra’s faith

SURENDRA (looking at M, and the others): “I have come after finishing my office work. I thought, ‘What is the good of standing on two boats at the same time?’ So I finished my duties first and then came here. Today is the first day of the year; it is also Tuesday, an auspicious day to worship the Divine Mother. But I didn’t go to Kalighat. I said to myself,’ ‘It will be enough if I see him who is Kāli Herself, and who has rightly understood Kāli.’ “

Sri Ramakrishna smiled.

SURENDRA: “It is said that a man should bring fruit and flowers when visiting his guru or a holy man. So I have brought these. . . . . (To the Master) I am spending all this money for you. God alone knows my heart. Some people feel grieved to give away a penny; and there are people who spend a thousand rupees without feeling any hesitation. God sees the inner love of a devotee and accepts his offering.”

Sri Ramakrishna said to Surendra, by a nod, that he was right.

SURENDRA: “I couldn’t come here yesterday. It was the last day of the year. But I decorated your picture with flowers.”

Sri Ramakrishna said to M., by a sign, “Ah, what devotion!”

SURENDRA: “As I was coming here I bought these two garlands for four ānnās.

Almost all the devotees took their leave. The Master asked M. to stroke his legs and fan him.

Friday, April 16, 1886

The moon was shining brilliantly, flooding the garden paths, the trees, and the water of the lake with its white rays. Girish, M., Lātu, and a few other devotees were seated on the steps leading to the lake. The house stood to the west of the lake. A lamp burnt in the Master’s room on the second floor. Sri Ramakrishna was sitting on his bed. There were several devotees in the room.

A few minutes later Girish and M. were strolling along a garden path lined with flowering plants and fruit-trees.

M: “How beautiful this moonlight is! Perhaps nature has had the same laws from time out of mind.”

GIRISH: “How do you know that?”

M: “There is no change in the uniformity of nature. European scientists have been discovering new stars through the telescope. There are mountains on the moon; they have seen them.”

GIRISH: “It is difficult to be sure of that. It is hard for me to believe it.”

M: “Why? The mountains have been observed through the telescope.”

GIRISH: “How can you be sure that they have been rightly observed? Suppose there are other things between the moon and the earth. Light passing through them may conjure up such visions.”

Narendra, Rākhāl, Niranjan, Sarat, Śaśi, Baburam, Kāli, Jogin, Lātu, and a few other young devotees had been living at the Cossipore garden house in order to nurse Sri Ramakrishna. That evening Narendra, Kāli, and Tārak had gone to Dakshineswar. They were going to spend the night in the Panchavati, meditating on God.

Girish, Lātu, and M. went to Sri Ramakrishna’s room and found him sitting on the bed. Śaśi and one or two devotees had been tending the Master. Baburam, Niranjan, and Rākhāl also entered the room. It was a large room. Some medicines and a few other accessories were kept near the bed. One entered the room by a door at the north end.

Since Sri Ramakrishna had to be tended all night, the devotees stayed awake by turns. The devotee who tended him fixed Sri Ramakrishna’s mosquito net and then either lay on a mat on the floor or spent the night sitting up. Since Sri Ramakrishna got very little sleep on account of his illness, his attendant, too, slept very little.

Master’s love for Girish

That evening Sri Ramakrishna was somewhat better. The devotees saluted the Master and sat down on the floor. The Master asked M. to bring the lamp near him. He greeted Girish cordially.

MASTER (to Girish): “Are you quite well? (To Lātu) Prepare a smoke for him and give him a betel-leaf.”

A few minutes afterwards he asked Lātu to give Girish some refreshments. Lātu said that they had been sent for.

Sri Ramakrishna was sitting up. A devotee offered him some garlands of flowers. Sri Ramakrishna put them around his neck one by one. Was he thus worshipping God who dwelt in his heart? The devotees looked at him wonderingly. He took two garlands from his neck and gave them to Girish.

Every now and then Sri Ramakrishna asked whether the refreshments had been brought.

M. was fanning the Master. On the bed was a sandal-wood-fan, the offering of a devotee. The Master gave it to M., who continued to fan him with it. He also gave M. two garlands.

M. had lost a son aged seven or eight about a year and a half before. The child had seen the Master many a time. Lātu was telling Sri Ramakrishna about M.

LĀTU: “M. wept bitterly last night at the sight of some books that had belonged to his dead child. His wife is almost mad with grief. She sometimes treats her other children violently. She creates a scene at home because he spends the night here now and then.”

Sri Ramakrishna seemed worried to hear of this.

GIRISH: “It is nothing to be wondered at. Even after receiving the instruction of the Bhagavad Gitā, Arjuna fainted from grief at the death of his son Abhimanyu.”

Girish was given the refreshments on a tray. Sri Ramakrishna took a grain and Girish accepted the rest as Prasad. He sat in front of the Master and began to eat. He needed water to drink. There was an earthen jug in the southeast corner of the room. It was the month of April, and the day was hot. Sri Ramakrishna said, “There is some nice water here.”

The Master was so ill that he had not enough strength even to stand up. And what did the disciples see to their utter amazement? They saw him leave the bed, completely naked, and move toward the jug! He himself was going to pour the water into a tumbler. The devotees were almost frozen with fear. The Master poured the water into a glass. He poured a drop or two into his hand to see whether it was cool. He found that it was not very cool; but since nothing better could be found, he reluctantly gave it to Girish.

Girish was eating the sweets. The devotees were sitting about, and M. was fanning Sri Ramakrishna.

GIRISH (to the Master): “Deben Babu has decided to renounce the world.”

On account of his illness Sri Ramakrishna could hardly talk. Touching his lips with his finger, he asked Girish, by signs, “Who will feed his wife and children?”

GIRISH: “I don’t know.”

The other devotees remained silent. Girish began talking again while he ate the refreshments.

GIRISH: “Sir, which is wiser-to renounce the world regretfully, or to call on God, leading a householder’s life?”

MASTER (to M.): “Haven’t you read the Gitā? One truly realizes God if one performs one’s worldly duties in a detached spirit, if one lives in the world after realizing that everything is illusory.

“Those who regretfully renounce the world belong to an inferior class.

“Do you know what a householder Jnāni is like? He is like a person living in a glass house. He can see both inside and outside.”

Again there was silence in the room.

MASTER (to M.): “The refreshments are hot and good.”

M. (to Girish): “Yes, they were bought from Fagu’s shop. The place is famous.”

MASTER (smiling) “Yes, famous.”

GIRISH: “They are really nice.

(To the Master) “Sir, my mind is now on a very lofty plane. Why does it come down again?”

Nature of the mind

MASTER: “That always happens when one leads a worldly life. sometimes the householder’s mind goes up; sometimes it goes down. Sometimes he feels a great deal of devotion; sometimes he feels less. This happens because he lives in the midst of ‘woman and gold’.

Monks and householders

Sometimes a householder contemplates God or chants His name, and sometimes he diverts his mind to ‘woman and gold’. He is like an ordinary fly, which now sits on a sweetmeat and now on filth or rotting sores.

“But it is quite different with sannyāsis. They are able to fix their minds on God alone, completely withdrawing them from ‘woman and gold’. They can enjoy the Bliss of God alone. A man of true renunciation cannot enjoy anything but God. He leaves any place where people talk of worldly things; he listens only to spiritual talk. A man of true renunciation never speaks about anything but God. The bees light only on flowers, in order to sip honey; they do not enjoy anything else.”

Girish went to the small terrace to rinse his hands.

MASTER (to M.): “A man needs the grace of God to fix his whole mind on Him. Well, Girish has eaten a great many sweets. Tell him not to eat anything else tonight.” Girish returned to the room and sat in front of the Master. He was chewing a betel-leaf.

About Rākhāl

MASTER (to Girish): “Rākhāl has now understood what is good and what is bad, what is real and what is unreal. He lives with his family, no doubt, but he knows what it means. He has a wife. And a son has been born to him. But he has realized that all these are illusory and impermanent. Rākhāl will never be attached to the world.

“He is like a mudfish. The fish lives in the mud, but there is not the slightest trace of mud on its body.”

GIRISH: “Sir, I don’t understand all this. You can make everyone pure and unattached if you want to. You can make everyone good, whether he is a worldly man or a sannyāsi. The Malaya breeze, I believe, turns all trees into sandal-wood.”

MASTER: “Not unless there is substance in them. There are a few trees, the cotton-tree for instance, which are not turned into sandal-wood.”

GIRISH: “I don’t care.”

MASTER: “But this is the law.”

GIRISH: “But everything about you is illegal.”

The devotees were listening to this conversation in great amazement. Every now and then, the fan in M.’s hand stopped moving.

MASTER: “Yes, that may be true. When the river of bhakti overflows, the land all around is flooded with water to the depth of a pole.

“When a man is inebriated with divine love, he doesn’t abide by the injunctions of the Vedas. He picks Durva grass for the worship of the Deity, but he doesn’t clean it. He

picks whatever he lays his hands on. While gathering tulsi-leaves he even breaks the branches. Ah! what state of mind I passed through!

(To M.) “When one develops love of God, one needs nothing else.”

M: “Yes, sir.”

MASTER: “But a devotee must assume toward God, a particular attitude. God in His Incarnation as Rāma demonstrated Śānta, Dāsya, Vātsalya, and sakhya. But Krishna demonstrated Madhur, besides all these.

Radha’s love for Krishna

“Radha cherished the attitude of Madhur toward Krishna. Her love was romantic. But in the case of Sita it was the pure love of a chaste wife for her husband. There was no romance in her love.

“But all this is the lila of God. He demonstrates different ideals to suit different times.”

The crazy woman

A crazy woman used to accompany Vijay Goswami to the Kāli temple at Dakshineswar

and sing for Sri Ramakrishna. Her songs were about Kāli. She also used to sing the songs of the Brahmo Samaj. The devotees called her “Pagli” and tried to keep her away

from the Master.

MASTER (to Girish and the others): “Pagli cherishes the attitude of Madhur toward me. One day she came to Dakshineswar. Suddenly she burst out crying. ‘Why are you crying?’ I asked her. And she said, ‘Oh, my head is aching!’ (All laugh.) Another day I was eating when she came to Dakshineswar. She suddenly said, ‘Won’t you be kind to me?’ I had no idea of what was passing through her mind and went on eating. Then she said, ‘Why did you push me away mentally?’ I asked her, ‘What is your attitude?’ She said, ‘Madhur.’ ‘Ah!’ I said. ‘But I look on all women as manifestations of the Divine Mother. All women are mothers to me.’ There upon she said, ‘I don’t know all that.’ Then I called Ramlal and said to him: ‘Ramlal, listen to her! What is she talking about this ‘pushing away mentally? Even now she keeps up that attitude.”

GIRISH: “Blessed indeed is Pagli! May be she is crazy. May be she is beaten by the devotees. But she meditates on you twenty-four hours a day. No matter how she meditates on you, no harm can ever befall her.

“Sir, how can I express my own feelings about it? Think what I was before, and what I have become now by meditating on you! Formerly I was indolent; now that indolence has turned into resignation to God. Formerly I was a sinner; now I have become humble. What else can I say?”

The devotees remained silent. Rākhāl expressed his sympathy for Pagli.

He said: ‘We all feel sorry for her. She causes so much annoyance, and for that she suffers, too.”

NIRANJAN (to Rākhāl): “You feel that way for her because you have a wife at home. But we could kill her.”

RĀKHĀL (sharply): “Such bragging! How dare you utter such words before him [meaning Sri Ramakrishna]?”

MASTER (to Girish): “‘Woman and gold’ alone is the world. Many people regard money as their very life-blood. But however you may show love for money, one day, perhaps, every bit of it will slip from your hand.

“In our part of the country the farmers make narrow ridges around their paddy-fields. You know what those ridges are. Some farmers make ridges with great care all the way around their fields. Such ridges are destroyed by the rush of the rain-water. But some farmers leave a part of the ridge open and put sod there. The water flows through the sod, leaving the field covered with silt after the rain. They reap a rich harvest.

Good use of money

“They alone make good use of their money who spend it for the worship of God or the service of holy men and devotees. Their money bears fruit.

“I cannot eat anything offered by physicians. I mean those who traffic in human suffering. Their money is blood and pus.”

Sri Ramakrishna mentioned two physicians in this connection.

GIRISH: “Dr. Rajendra Dutta is a generous person. He doesn’t accept a penny from anybody. He gives away money in charity.”

Saturday, April 17, 1886

It was the night of the full moon. For some time Narendra had been going to Dakshineswar daily. He spent a great deal of time in the panchavati in meditation and contemplation. This day he returned from Dakshineswar in the evening. Tārak and Kāli were with him.

It was eight o’clock in the evening. Moonlight and the south wind added to the charm of the garden house. Many of the devotees were meditating in the room downstairs. Referring to them, Narendra said to M., “They are shedding their Upādhis one by one.”

A few minutes later M. came into Sri Ramakrishna’s room and sat down on the floor. The Master asked him to wash his towel and the spittoon. M. washed them in the reservoir.

Master’s anxiety about M.’s wife

Next morning Sri Ramakrishna sent for M. After taking his bath in the Ganges and saluting the Master, he had gone to the roof. Sri Ramakrishna asked M. to bring his grief-stricken wife to the garden house, where she could have her meal.

The Master said to M., by a sign: “Ask her to come. Let her stay here a couple of days. She may bring the baby.”

M: “Yes, sir. It would be fine if she developed intense love of God.”

Sri Ramakrishna again answered by signs: “Oh, grief pushes out devotion. And, he was such a big boy!

“Krishnakishore had two sons. They were of the same age as Bhavanāth, and each had two university degrees. They both died. And Krishnakishore, Jnāni that he was, could not at first control himself. How lucky I am that I have none!

“Arjuna was a great Jnāni; and Krishna was his constant companion. Nevertheless, he was completely overwhelmed with grief at the death of his son Abhimanyu.

“Why doesn’t Kishori come?”

A DEVOTEE: “He comes to the Ganges every day for his bath.”

MASTER: “But why doesn’t he come here?”

DEVOTEE: “I shall ask him to come, sir.”

MASTER: “Why doesn’t Harish come?”

Two young girls aged nine and ten, who belonged to M.’s family, sang several songs about the Divine Mother for the Master. They had sung for him when he had visited M.’s house at Syampukur. The Master was very much pleased with their songs. After they had finished, they were sent for by the devotees to sing for them downstairs.

MASTER (to M.): “Don’t teach the girls any more songs. It is different if they sing spontaneously. But they will lose their modesty by singing before anyone and everyone. It is very necessary for women to be modest.”

Flowers and sandal-paste were placed before the Master in a flower-basket. He sat on his bed and worshipped himself with these offerings. Sometimes he placed flowers and sandal-paste on his head, sometimes on his throat, sometimes on his heart, and sometimes on his navel.

Manomohan of Konnagar came in and took a seat after saluting the Master. Sri Ramakrishna was still busy with the worship of his inner Self. He put a garland of flowers on his own neck. After a while he seemed to be pleased with Manomohan and gave him some flowers. M., too, received a flower.

It was about nine o’clock in the morning. The Master and M: were talking. Śaśi was also in the room.

MASTER (to M.): “What were Narendra and Śaśi talking about? What did they discuss?”

M. (to Śaśi): “What were you talking about?”

ŚAŚI: “Was it Niranjan that told you about it?”

MASTER: “What were you discussing? I heard ‘God’, ‘Being’, ‘Non-being’, and so forth.”

ŚAŚI (smiling): “Shall I call Narendra?”

MASTER: “Yes.”

Narendra came in and took a seat.

MASTER (to M.): “Ask him something. (To Narendra) Tell us what you were talking about.”

NARENDRA: “I have indigestion. What’s there to tell you about?”

MASTER: “You will get over your indigestion.”

M. (smiling): ‘Tell us about the experience of Buddha.”

NARENDRA: “Have I become a Buddha, that you want me to talk about him?”

M: “What does Buddha say about the existence of God?”

NARENDRA: “How can you say that God exists? It is you who have created this universe.

Don’t you know what Berkeley says about it?”

M: “Yes, I do. According to him, esse is percipi. The world exists as long as the sense-organs perceive it.”

MASTER: ” ‘Nangta used to say, The world exists in mind alone and disappears in mind alone.’ But as long as ‘I-consciousness’ exists, one should assume the servant-and-master relationship with God.”

NARENDRA (to M:): “How can you prove by reasoning that God exists? But if you depend on faith, then you must accept the relationship of servant and Master. And if you accept that-and you can’t help it-then you must also say that God is kind.

“You think only of the suffering in the world-why do you forget that God has also given you so much happiness? How kind He is to us! He has granted us three very great things: human birth, the yearning to know God, and the companionship of a great soul.”

All were silent.

MASTER (to Narendra): “I feel very clearly that there is Someone within me.

Dr. Rajendralal arrived and took a seat. He had been treating the Master with homeopathic medicine. When the talk about medicine was over, Sri Ramakrishna pointed out Manomohan to the doctor.

RAJENDRA: “He is a distant relative of mine.”

Narendra went downstairs. He was singing to himself:

Lord, Thou hast lifted all my sorrow with the vision of Thy face,

And the magic of Thy beauty has bewitched my mind; Beholding Thee, the seven worlds forget their never-ending woe;

What shall I say, then, of myself, a poor and lowly soul?

. . .

Narendra had a little indigestion. He said to M.: “If one follows the path of bhakti, then the mind comes down a little to the body. Otherwise, who am I? Neither man nor God. I have neither pleasure nor pain.”

It was about nine o’clock in the evening. Surendra and a few other devotees entered Sri Ramakrishna’s room and offered him garlands of flowers. Baburam, Lātu, and M. were also in the room. Sri Ramakrishna put Surendra’s garland on his own neck. All sat quietly.

Suddenly the Master made a sign to Surendra to come near him. When the disciple came near the bed, Sri Ramakrishna took the garland from his neck and put it around Surendra’s. Surendra saluted the Master. Sri Ramakrishna asked him, by a sign, to rub his feet. Surendra gave them a gentle massage.

Several devotees were sitting on the bank of the reservoir in the garden, singing to the accompaniment of drum and cymbals. Sri Ramakrishna sent them word through Lātu to sing the name of Hari.

M., Baburam, and several others were still sitting in the Master’s room. They heard the devotees singing:

There dances my Gora, chanting Hari’s name! . . .

When the Master heard the song he made a sign to Baburam and M. to join them. He also asked them to dance.

A few minutes later Sri Ramakrishna sent another devotee to the singers to ask them to sing the following improvised lines: “Ah, my Gora even knows how to dance!” “How can I describe my Gora’s moods?” “My Gora dances with both his hands upraised.”

The music was over. Surendra was almost in an ecstatic mood. He sang:

Crazy is my Father, crazy is my Mother,

And I, their son, am crazy too!

Syama is my Mother’s name.

My Father strikes His cheeks and makes a hollow


Ba-ba-bom! Ba-ba-bom!

And my Mother, drunk and reeling, Falls across my Father’s body!

Syama’s streaming tresses hang in vast disorder; Bees are swarming numberless

About Her crimson Lotus Feet.

Listen, as She dances, how Her anklets ring!